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  • Kenko Desk

To Be Or Not To Be - In A Relationship

Relationships are special and essential. But is yours bringing happiness or taking it away? A simple question with a complex answer.

We have all grown up romanticising relationships and unrealistically portraying them in our minds as perfect. As much as we wanted a happily-ever-after with our dream partner, reality struck and made us realise that relations are very different from fairytales. They require hard work, consistency, understanding, and responsibility, to name a few, from both ends.

Relationships come with ups and downs, and it gets necessary to weigh these against each other. Even though your relationship may seem like a rollercoaster ride, it’s essential to make sure that the cart doesn’t always stay down at the bottom of the track in your ride.

Signs that you're in a healthy relationship

When you’re with the one, everything might not be picture-perfect, but there are a few signs that make you feel right.

1. The 3 S: Stability, Security, Support

The first sign is a sense of stability. Contrary to toxic relationships that keep your level of stress and worry high, healthy ones bring with them peace that calms you down mentally and emotionally. You feel secure with your partner, both in their presence and absence. You are supported by them in the choices and decisions that you make instead of being judged.

2. You don’t have to hide your true self

Be your most authentic self in front of your partner. If your partner does not accept you for who you really are, you don’t confidently express your opinions in front of them. If you have to pretend to be another person in their presence, you probably are not in a comfortable space with them.

3. You trust your partner

When two different individuals come together, they need trust to sustain it. Trust comes in many forms. Are you able to show your most vulnerable side to your partner? Can you share your deepest feelings with them as you would share with your best friend? A million situations will come up in your relationship that would require you to have faith in your partner.

4. Mutual respect

Respect is one of the most important factors in all relationships - on the receiving end as much as the providing. When your partner respects the boundaries that you set, gives you personal space, accepts your choices, and treats you with regard; you automatically feel safe and secure about them.

5. They imagine themself in your shoes

Empathy is one of the most vital virtues in any bond. An empathetic partner understands you from your own perspective. Instead of making you feel bad for your outlook, they view the situation from your lens to understand where you’re coming from.

Let's test the compatibility

Healthy relationships and compatibility go hand in hand. Here are a few signs to know that you and your partner are going to make it through thick and thin;

1. Agree to disagree

You know that you can make it work with your partner and have a future together when you both respectfully accept each other’s opinions, even if they are the polar opposite of your own perspectives. Conflict resolution should be polite, consisting of respect, understanding, and a solution-oriented approach.

2. Communication is the key…

… to each other’s hearts. Communicating your feelings to your partner and being responsive towards theirs – whether it’s a simple rant against your neighbour or a major problem bothering you, not only makes you feel better but also strengthens your bond with them. Don’t expect people to be mind readers; express your thoughts so that life gets easy-peasy.

3. Understanding each other

The word understanding is very underrated. From empathising with your partner to understanding their love language – whether they need you or their personal space. Once you develop a cognizant connection with your partner, then congratulations, you’re compatible with them.

4. Two pages of the same book

You and your partner are highly compatible if you both are on the same page regarding life and your goals. Many times, partners have different expectations from their relationships, different goals in life, and contrasting visions of rights and wrongs.

If you want a sustainable relationship, both of you could be unique in your individual selves but should be on the same page regarding your shared goals.

Beware! Red flags ahead

As much as we like to skip red lights in order to avoid getting stuck in traffic jams, you can’t skip the red flags that you notice when in a relationship, simply in order to stay in denial. Sometimes, relationships can become extremely toxic for you and your mental health; learn to identify when the number of red flags is exceeding the number of green flags.

  1. It’s a big red flag when your partner makes you second guess their feelings for you. If they constantly avoid emotions, keep you on the loose, and make you emotionally chase them, then it’s best to walk out.

  2. Does your partner talk badly or disrespectfully about their ex? Or are they still very much in love with the person they were dating before you? If your answer is yes to any of these questions, then do the math.

  3. Arguments and disagreements are a part of all relationships. But if the number of bad days in your relationship is exceeding the good ones, then it’s best to end something that brings you sorrow instead of joy.

  4. If you feel hampered in any way by your partner - be it a sense of losing yourself, feeling that you are not able to grow positively, ruining your relationships with your friends and family, or having adverse effects on your career - then take a step back to focus on yourself and your life.

  5. A feeling of discomfort is the biggest red flag. Discomfort can’t be defined in a relationship; it’s subjective. It could be a sense of disrespect, feeling unheard, or anything that makes you uneasy.

The key to a healthy relationship is keeping your individuality intact in order to not lose your personal identity. Let Kenko take care of you with their Individual Plan, which gives you 50% off on medicines, doctor consults, lab tests, and many such benefits!

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